The Dentist Always Knows

I have no health insurance. We (John) forgot to sign me up for it last week before mine ran out at work. Don't worry, he's working on it now. Anyway, the last two times I was between insurance, I had something terrible happen to me that required an ER visit. Once I had a horrible allergic reaction, and the other time was a concussion. I actually knocked myself out on a wall. (Long story for another day.)

So anyway, I had a dentist appointment today at noon (for which I got to "self-pay"). All my days of staying up late and not sleeping in enough must have caught up with me because I woke up at 11:50! Yikes. For me, being late to an appointment feels just short of committing a mortal sin. I HATE TO BE LATE. Now, those of you who know me know that I am not a morning person, and starting my day at 10AM is not unusual. However, if I am scheduled to be somewhere at a certain time, it's unusual for me to be late.

Waking up late is the worst kind of late. I woke up feeling just fabulous (after 12 hours of sleep), but that ended as soon as I picked up my phone and saw the time. OH CRAP! The next 20 minutes were a blur. I somehow made it out of the house in 2 minutes (fully clothed) and drove like a crazy person all the way to the dentist office, and somehow made it there only 10 minutes late.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to do the pre-dentist visit floss. Because, let's face it: nobody flosses every day (even my husband, who is a son and brother of dentists). So we think we can fool our dentists by flossing once really thoroughly to make up for the last 6 months.

DENTIST: Are you flossing regularly? {looks skeptical}

ME: Um... {tries to think of passable lie}

DENTIST: You should really floss regularly. {silently judges me}

ME: Er... {hangs head in shame}

DENTIST: I'm going to give you FREE DENTAL FLOSS in this little baggie. Take it home and use it every day. {knows I won't}

ME: Okay. {vows that THIS time it will be different}

Come on, who are we kidding? They know. They always know.